Some people have told me that even though there’s a long journey in front of us before we find true queer liberation; we should celebrate every stepping stone we cross on that path. I’m just not sure if full assimilation into a toxic culture is a step in the right direction though.
I recognize there are pros to marriage equality, both immediately through the rights of individual queer people and perhaps even on a longer timeline by opening up doors for larger discussions deconstructing gender and relationships.
I wish to discuss some of the cons of marriage equality and the fights we’ve spent so much time and money on while so many queer youth have gone homeless, so many trans women of color have been murdered and raped, and so many queer people have been evicted and fired, deported, and incarcerated.
It’s not my place to tell anybody to not celebrate marriage equality. I simply want people to understand why some of us aren’t.
I’m against gay marriage
(and straight marriage for that matter)
because I’m against the State preferring one type of relationship (sexual monogamy) at the expense of all others.
because I think we shouldn’t have to get married to decide who we want with us during an emergency.
because I think we shouldn’t have to get married in order to adopt or raise a child.
because I think wanting to help your partner get on your health insurance is a fine goal, but we should ALL have access to affordable healthcare.
because I’m against the HRC spending millions of dollars on marriage equality for the white cisgender middle and upper class while poor queer and trans folks are getting fired from our jobs and evicted from our homes, kept from life-saving medical care, violently attacked, murdered on the streets and raped in prisons and detention centers everyday. Money speaks, and marriage, not murder, has been the thing most LGB folks with money put their money towards, because those who are struggling to survive don’t have money to spare for your charities.
I’ll come to your wedding happily as a celebration of your love.
But don’t expect me to go out for drinks tonight in celebration of a faux victory, a tactic to passify the queer masses, a weak corporate rainbow-colored bandaid over a pile of blood, a distraction from the continued street violence, corporate violence, and state violence against us.
*Video by Darkmatter, the trans south asian performance art duo comprised of Alok Vaid-Menon and Janani Balasubramanian.
**Jennicet Gutiérrez is the trans activist who interrupted Obama’s speech at a Pride dinner in order to draw attention to the 75 undocumented trans women the President has placed in male detention centers who are being raped frequently, sometimes by guards.
***If you’d like to learn more about why some queer liberation activists and anarchists are against marriage, this link is full of great sources.