not in Primary anymore

your kids aren’t transphobic yet

To all those who aren’t ready to tell their child why I’m wearing a dress: 

You say you’re not ready to talk about my “lifestyle” with your kids. You’re just not ready to teach them to be accepting of EVERYBODY.

We have records of over 200 transgender and gender non-conforming people being murdered this year alone for being transgender, most of them trans women and trans feminine folk. Hundreds more murders have probably occurred in countries that are refusing to record violence against trans folk.

We have 59% of transgender kids getting harassed at school. We have 41% of transgender folks attempting suicide, probably because of all the violence and dehumanization we experience.

But you’re just not ready to teach your kids to not be transphobic. Not yet. Not while they’re still full of so much potential to learn to accept us fully, to love us and to fight for a better world for all people. Not yet.

❤ ❤ ❤

*Curtis Penfold, sometimes known as Meli, is a genderqueer, genderfluid, genderquestioning, trans-femme androgyne who enjoys performance art, reading, writing poetry, hanging out with their friends, attending different churches and spiritual communities, laughing at how silly our existence can be and helping people feel a little less alone in this often difficult world. 

13 Responses to “your kids aren’t transphobic yet”

  1. Alycia

    It’s not even a difficult conversation to have with children. They tend to be way more accepting and tolerant of human variation than we give them credit for. I’ve talked to lots of kids about what it means to be transgender or gender non-conforming. You don’t have to get very technical about it; just explain in simple terms and you will be surprised how well they react.

  2. Janae

    I have three kids and I still remember the time we talked about gay people and transgender the first time. My daughter asked why I don’t marry our friend a. I told her sometimes men marry men and sometimes men marry women it depends on love. It took about two seconds. She was 5. Then a separate time we had a friend visit and she is transgender and my son was confused about her clothes and we talked about it. It was really easy they accepted that people can wear what they want and some people are born boys but feel like they are girls. I don’t know if I rocked it both times I didn’t have a solid plan I didn’t realize my 5 and 4 year old kids would wonder. They just accept it as how things sometimes are.

  3. Natalie

    Excellent post! I’ve got 3 littles now and they love looking at my facebook and IG feed to see all the pictures. They see both cis and transgender people and I have no hesitation to answer their questions or to correct them. They see pictures of queer couples and coo over them the same as heterosexual couples. They have no hesitation or malice because I never allowed it to enter the conversation.

  4. Laura

    My kids’ teacher at church (UU) transitioned last spring and everything went fine. Kids are far more adaptive than adults.

  5. Patricia

    Children are the most loving, understanding humans on the planet so long as they are not indoctrinated with prejudice. My children had questions about my trans*girlfriend when they first met her but none came from a place of hate, more innocent curiosity. When I answered their questions in a way they could understand gender dysphoria and gender-fluidity, they were accepting of the answers. They were the first to yell at the neighbours who use bigoted slurs against her and try their best (at 5yo and 7 yo) to spread love for differences.

  6. brndnjtkn

    Children are more accepting of differences than non-children. The reason being due to religion not having a coercive impact until their later years.

  7. Juliette

    Great post. All people should be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their lifestyle (as long as it’s nothing illegal, like pedophilia or bestiality of course). I hope our world continues to be more accepting of others’ lifestyle choices.

  8. Katherine Jones

    Children will emulate the behavior that they see in the adults in their lives. It’s so important that when we are interacting with other people in front of children what they see from us is respect and love for everyone. Children will follow the lead of the adults they look up to.


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