“I lost my virginity.”
What does that mean?
“It means I had sex.”
What is sex?
“Everybody knows what sex is.”
Is holding hands sex? Is kissing sex? Is cuddling sex? Is sharing intimate memories with each other sex? Is staying up all night with a person you like a lot sex? Is telling somebody you like them a lot sex? Is staring into each others’ eyes and then laughing uncontrollably together sex? Is flirting sex? Romantic dinners? Massages?
Is reading erotica or watching porn together sex? Is acting sexy sex? Are birthday spankings sex? Is being suspended in the air as your partner whips you sex? Is grinding each other sex? Is feeling each other up softly sex? Is running your finger tips down the naked spine of your partner sex? Is running your tongue down their thigh until you get to their feet and suck on their toes sex? Is masturbating in the same room as your masturbating partner sex? Is using dildos and vibrators with your partner sex? Hand jobs? Blow jobs? Anal play?
“I mean a penis was placed into a vagina, and one of those genitals belonged to me. Now I’m not a virgin.”
I doubt your entire identity has changed just because you did penis in vagina intercourse, but who knows.
You know what, though? Let’s just stop assuming one thing done while you’re intimately connecting with somebody is somehow superior to another.
There’s some cruddy penis in vagina intercourse out there and there are some awesome massages. One shouldn’t be considered inherently superior to the other.
Shoot, I don’t know what sex is to be honest. If you want to find the answer to that question, you won’t find it here.
When people say that they’re having sex, I usually just say I’m sharing an intimate moment with somebody I care about. Or I say I’m playing around. And if clothes stay on or come off, so be it. If orgasms happen or not, it’s all good. As long as we’re connecting deeply and having a good time, that’s good enough for me.
So what is sex anyway?