Good Comments (Part 2)
Yes, it is that time again: Good Comments, where the internets provide us with their wisdom and in return we all get to question our sanity and place in the universe…Well at the very least we can have some fun right? RIGHT!?!?!?!
Well let’s get to it. For our first comment, we will look at a fascinating youtube video making the rounds called “What do Mormon Boys Think About Girls?” I mean first off it should really be called “What these Mormon boys think about girls” but whatever. The video provides us with a fountain of good comments about important things like what teenage boys think girls should know to be more appealing to them. If you want to watch the video (I don’t advise it) you can do so here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jbx0L42Z_U But if you value your mental health I will summarize it… This video features a slew of young LDS boys who are 1. Preparing to serve a mission in the near future 2. Telling us what they (and therefore every LDS boy) want in women and 3. Showing off all the styles in which one could sport a hat.
The video describes the interviews as candid, which is clearly not the case as there is a studio set up in the living room. Also a Bishop is sitting in on them to ensure the boys don’t get too friendly with the interviewer.
Just about every answer they give is very by the numbers and scripted and they just regurgitate things that are written in a manual somewhere, it’s a wholly artificial production. There is one young man who is curiously obsessed with finding a young woman with good parenting skills. Like, would any young woman know how to be a good parent yet? What does that even mean? Why is this priority #1 for you when you are 15? So many questions. Also there is a very large amount of giggling by these boys, which is a sure sign they are taking this very seriously.
On the question of “How girls can help you stay strong and help prepare you for your mission?” one young man responded with this gem:
“Things like dressing modestly always help, you can’t keep their minds clean for them, but you can let them keep your minds clean”
Please ladies; let us keep our minds clean! I’m begging you! Why won’t you just let me keep my mind clean??
One of these prospective Elders seems very familiar though…I can’t quite place him but I know I have seen him somewhere before…
Next up, we have the tumblr “For time and eternity.” Which popped up and vanished just as soon as it came like a magical Easter Bunny of goodness. As I was watching this in real time I followed the number 1 rule of good comment hunting and screen grabbed all the things. You are welcome. Let’s take a look:
Ok, well this seems fine, a member joins tumblr to spread her beliefs and answer any questions, this is what the church wants more of right? What could go wrong? Well…right off the bat Emilie goes full passive aggressive and calls out women who don’t want to get married, which I feel is a good ice breaker to use when sharing the gospel to complete strangers. Grab some popcorn and enjoy the fallout.
Oh dear…you see Emilie is quickly learning that when you brazenly put people down based on their own valid lifestyle choice they won’t just roll over and ignore it, no, these apostates apparently don’t care for Emilie’s judgments. Hang in there Emilie!
Yes, people who disagree are bad people. These are facts.
Preach! George Washington, Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King Jr., Isaac Newton, Marie Curie, ALLLLL ignorant.
Well then.
It was soon after this that Emilie shut down the blog and vanished, thanks no doubt to the ignorant apostates that dared to question her judgment. Years from now scientists will study these screen caps and ponder just why people took so much offense. Actually no, they will be totes busy studying Miley Cryus’s twerking.
Finally, we come to the Facebook page “CTR” which draws attention to the upcoming Ordain Women event to attend General Priesthood session.
Well, the page does have a point in asking was praying in conference and wearing pants not enough for these feminists? I mean yeah sure, us men will still make all the major policy decisions and set gender dynamics in the family without consulting you ever, but in return you get to look fabulous every Sunday. What more could you possibly want from us?!?!? Wearing pants is a privilege we gave you.
I do very much like how CTR acts like wearing pants was some gift men gave to women, as in they let women wear pants. But now you give us a sky high demand to be just “looked at” as potential elders? Dammit how do you expect us to give in to these monumental requests?
Check out the comment from Lee Merritt.
This one sentence gets at the crux of the problem. Anybody who asks questions is automatically labeled as an apostate, or someone who lacks an understanding of the gospel, or even a testimony. I guess it’s just way too easy to ignore how things like the Word of Wisdom, Primary or the Relief Society came about and just label anyone you don’t want to understand as morally bankrupt. 177 people agree, if you ask for your feelings to be considered, you are an outlier, and we are no longer playing for the same team.
It’s baffling how the church’s online presence has produced an atmosphere that’s so toxic and counterproductive to its own goals. Why would anybody be won over by these hurtful name callings made not only by organizations, but by the members themselves? The church wants more of an online presence? This song and dance of courting prospective converts online with promises of eternal happiness and happy fun good times seems disingenuous when once they are members and ask “What about me?” members turn on them faster than Brutus turned on Caesar. No more happy fun good times, only hurtful condemning from a community that refuses to acknowledge their own privilege, or how anyone could not get from the church what they are getting, so the only conclusion has to be something is spiritually wrong with them.
I’m sure this is something that will be touched upon again in the next installment of Good Comments, as we will be looking at the aftermath of Priesthood Session. Thanks for reading and super thanks to all those of you who submitted Good Comments or otherwise brought these things to my attention on the Facebook page.
If you see something that is good comment worthy, be sure to link to it in the comments or let me know about it on twitter @justinanfinsen.
Young Mormon Feminists 
6 Responses to “Good Comments (Part 2)”
It’s unbelievable to see such cold, judgmental blanket statements not only posted in the first place, but “liked” by so many people. Really makes you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle. 😦
“I think that Mormon feminists are women who didn’t recognize what their value is,” said Jennifer O’Barr, who is an LDS Church member.
Let’s just start with thy funky verb tense. Feminists ‘did not’ in the past realize what their value ‘is’ today.
LDS church member, I agree. as a Mormon feminist I did not realize my current value for a loooong time because the church does not value me.
Or maybe you mean Mormon feminists are women who in the premier all world agreed to come to this earth and live within an organization in which they would not realize their true value.
premortal world* not premier all world. excuse me.
While I value your note that an online presence will require more thoughtful responses than are posted here, and while I certainly agree that these comments are amazingly terrible, I feel really uncomfortable about including posts from Emilie’s now-defunct tumblr. While it is entirely possible that she took it down because she didn’t like all the disagreement, it is also possible that she took it down because she regretted the things she said and felt shame that it was still out there–the ol’ Maya Angelou, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” And without Emilie giving her reasons why she left, I think it is worth giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Thanks for the note Kari. The decision to include people’s real names in “good comments” is not a decision I take lightly at all. I did put a fair bit of thought into why I left her name. I was following her blog for a little while in real time and she had every opportunity to turn around, she was challenged many more times than the examples I included here. Based on that and the fact she closed her tumblr pretty abruptly while her responses were getting more confrontational I feel pretty confident she left out of frustration that the apostates and ignorant were not giving her validation, not that she realized at any point what she was saying was hurtful and just plain wrong.
But you are correct in that we can’t know for sure either way in full confidence. If Emilie is around and would like the post edited, I would be happy to make that happen.
Honestly, I really doubt that she did, in fact, take it down for such harsh reasons. I think I sometimes just cringe thinking about things I’ve said or done that I wish I could take back–and I would hate knowing that someone had recorded those words forever–to use them, even, to prove how awful people could be. I had one particular incident happen to me several days ago that speaks to this very situation, and it was fresh on my mind when I read poor Emilie’s words, so I’m sure I was triggered for multiple reasons.
Nevertheless, I applaud your declaration that, should you have an opportunity to engage with Emilie about this, you would welcome an edit. While it is unlikely that she is reading the YMF blog, I think it’s important to keep things human and flexible.