Yes, it is that time again: Good Comments, where the internets provide us with their wisdom and in return we all get to question our sanity and place in the universe…Well at the very least we can have some fun right? RIGHT!?!?!?!
Well let’s get to it. For our first comment, we will look at a fascinating youtube video making the rounds called “What do Mormon Boys Think About Girls?” I mean first off it should really be called “What these Mormon boys think about girls” but whatever. The video provides us with a fountain of good comments about important things like what teenage boys think girls should know to be more appealing to them. If you want to watch the video (I don’t advise it) you can do so here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jbx0L42Z_U But if you value your mental health I will summarize it… This video features a slew of young LDS boys who are 1. Preparing to serve a mission in the near future 2. Telling us what they (and therefore every LDS boy) want in women and 3. Showing off all the styles in which one could sport a hat.
The video describes the interviews as candid, which is clearly not the case as there is a studio set up in the living room. Also a Bishop is sitting in on them to ensure the boys don’t get too friendly with the interviewer.
Just about every answer they give is very by the numbers and scripted and they just regurgitate things that are written in a manual somewhere, it’s a wholly artificial production. There is one young man who is curiously obsessed with finding a young woman with good parenting skills. Like, would any young woman know how to be a good parent yet? What does that even mean? Why is this priority #1 for you when you are 15? So many questions. Also there is a very large amount of giggling by these boys, which is a sure sign they are taking this very seriously.
On the question of “How girls can help you stay strong and help prepare you for your mission?” one young man responded with this gem:
“Things like dressing modestly always help, you can’t keep their minds clean for them, but you can let them keep your minds clean”
Please ladies; let us keep our minds clean! I’m begging you! Why won’t you just let me keep my mind clean??
One of these prospective Elders seems very familiar though…I can’t quite place him but I know I have seen him somewhere before…
Next up, we have the tumblr “For time and eternity.” Which popped up and vanished just as soon as it came like a magical Easter Bunny of goodness. As I was watching this in real time I followed the number 1 rule of good comment hunting and screen grabbed all the things. You are welcome. Let’s take a look:
Ok, well this seems fine, a member joins tumblr to spread her beliefs and answer any questions, this is what the church wants more of right? What could go wrong? Well…right off the bat Emilie goes full passive aggressive and calls out women who don’t want to get married, which I feel is a good ice breaker to use when sharing the gospel to complete strangers. Grab some popcorn and enjoy the fallout.
Oh dear…you see Emilie is quickly learning that when you brazenly put people down based on their own valid lifestyle choice they won’t just roll over and ignore it, no, these apostates apparently don’t care for Emilie’s judgments. Hang in there Emilie!
Yes, people who disagree are bad people. These are facts.
Preach! George Washington, Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King Jr., Isaac Newton, Marie Curie, ALLLLL ignorant.
It was soon after this that Emilie shut down the blog and vanished, thanks no doubt to the ignorant apostates that dared to question her judgment. Years from now scientists will study these screen caps and ponder just why people took so much offense. Actually no, they will be totes busy studying Miley Cryus’s twerking.
Finally, we come to the Facebook page “CTR” which draws attention to the upcoming Ordain Women event to attend General Priesthood session.
Well, the page does have a point in asking was praying in conference and wearing pants not enough for these feminists? I mean yeah sure, us men will still make all the major policy decisions and set gender dynamics in the family without consulting you ever, but in return you get to look fabulous every Sunday. What more could you possibly want from us?!?!? Wearing pants is a privilege we gave you.
I do very much like how CTR acts like wearing pants was some gift men gave to women, as in they let women wear pants. But now you give us a sky high demand to be just “looked at” as potential elders? Dammit how do you expect us to give in to these monumental requests?
Check out the comment from Lee Merritt.
This one sentence gets at the crux of the problem. Anybody who asks questions is automatically labeled as an apostate, or someone who lacks an understanding of the gospel, or even a testimony. I guess it’s just way too easy to ignore how things like the Word of Wisdom, Primary or the Relief Society came about and just label anyone you don’t want to understand as morally bankrupt. 177 people agree, if you ask for your feelings to be considered, you are an outlier, and we are no longer playing for the same team.
It’s baffling how the church’s online presence has produced an atmosphere that’s so toxic and counterproductive to its own goals. Why would anybody be won over by these hurtful name callings made not only by organizations, but by the members themselves? The church wants more of an online presence? This song and dance of courting prospective converts online with promises of eternal happiness and happy fun good times seems disingenuous when once they are members and ask “What about me?” members turn on them faster than Brutus turned on Caesar. No more happy fun good times, only hurtful condemning from a community that refuses to acknowledge their own privilege, or how anyone could not get from the church what they are getting, so the only conclusion has to be something is spiritually wrong with them.
I’m sure this is something that will be touched upon again in the next installment of Good Comments, as we will be looking at the aftermath of Priesthood Session. Thanks for reading and super thanks to all those of you who submitted Good Comments or otherwise brought these things to my attention on the Facebook page.
If you see something that is good comment worthy, be sure to link to it in the comments or let me know about it on twitter @justinanfinsen.