Ladies and Gentlemen, sometimes the internets can be great. Then sometimes things go horribly wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. It’s good to be reminded of the saying “Just because you can say something, doesn’t mean you should.” A google search does not inform me who said this, though I suspect it was someone wise, like Dumbledore, Hillary Clinton, or Jay-Z. Sometimes, people just say crazy things anyways, and we are here to celebrate that. So I would like to introduce “Good Comments” a place where I collect good comments from around the internet based on feminism or related issues. Then we
kindly explain the logical fallacies with care and sound reasoning make fun of them relentlessly.
Because being featured on good comments is such a prestigious honor (or soon will be), for our first comment we are going big, really big. Like LDS spokesman Michael Otterson big. Otterson released a statement on behalf of the LDS church (You’re Welcome Everyone!) regarding the recent Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage. Suffice it to say, Otterson was not amused by this so called democracy.
“By ruling that supporters of Proposition 8 lacked standing to bring this case to court, the Supreme Court has highlighted troubling questions about how our democratic and judicial system operates,”… “Many Californians will wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong when their government will not defend or protect a popular vote that reflects the views of a majority of their citizens.”
So now not only does Otterson speak for the church, he is also speaking for “many Californians”. Did they ask him to do that? I tend to doubt it. He continues:
“Regardless of the court decision the (LDS) church remains irrevocably committed to strengthening traditional marriage between a man and a woman, which for thousands of years has proven to be the best environment for nurturing children.”
Ouch. Usually, when you make a claim so big you have “thousands of years” of solid data to use at your disposal you would expect some kind of evidence…but since there is none I can only assume he has none. Otterson forgot the burden of proof was on him, oops.
What bothers me the most about this press release was the tone. Otterson comes off as an upset parent who just watched his sons baseball team lose the big game, so he goes into the parking lot to heckle the opposing team (even blaming the refs) all they want to do is get into their vans and celebrate with sweet victory pizza, but Otterson won’t allow it. “Fine! Go and get some pizza, but you will never enjoy it the way we have done for thousands of years!”
Meanwhile everyone else was all like:
As a follow up, this was posted on the Deseret News website by a user named “OutsideUT”
“If these cases were simply about two adults choosing a particular lifestyle, it wouldn’t matter to me. However, we are already seeing lawsuits against people who don’t want to support gay marriage. The State of Washington is suing Barronelle Stutzman because she politely declined to sell flowers for a friend’s gay marriage. Another church in MA is being sued because it declined to be rented for a gay marriage. The list goes on.”
Shit. It’s like you can’t even deny business to someone based on their sexuality anymore. Thanks King Obama! This country really pisses me off sometimes. Also notice how the owner of the flower shop “politely declined” to sell flowers for a gay marriage. I mean yeah sure she was being extremely prejudiced but she was totally polite about it so….what’s the problem here?
The next “Good Comment” comes by way of the comment section on a recently released study about what Mormon men want in a wife, the study was featured on ldsliving.com, which was recently voted as the most exciting website of all time. So let’s let commenter “lorifinlayhamilton” tell us how it is.
You may think I’m upset about any/all of this but alas, not true. You see all the dudes got together last month and decided we were going to designate this single man in his thirties to represent all of us. So although she has 15 years of research (which I assume was spent reading blogs and praying about the proclamation) she only needed to speak to 1 man to understand the wants and desires of all men.
Also why was this single man in his thirties concerned that she might tell women to wear short skirts? Is this a thing? Does that happen often enough to warrant concern? Am I skipping church for all the wrong reasons? I do agree with her though, in that women should be in awe of me and how I can control my raging passions. Women don’t have sex drives, so you can’t possibly know how hard it is for me to not be waking up at 4 AM and killing deer with my bear hands in exchange for sexual favors. #biology
Finally we have a meme from the Facebook page I absolutely love to hate: BYU memes, Taylor Larsen left this bomb.
*Sets self on fire*
*Jumps out window*
Can you at least pick a movie that doesn’t completely suck? Also, that’s an R-rated film, ohhhhhhh I don’t think real men would approve of such things.
That’s all folks! If you see a good comment you would like brought to light leave a message here, or let me know about it on twitter @justinanfinsen or just follow me anyways, I don’t care. I may even draw a funny* picture to go with it!
*The author would like to remind the readers that “funny” is entirely subjective and is a standard than cannot be legally enforced.
6 Responses to “good comments”
thank you so much. comments are the best/worst. please feel free to use just about any comment from this gem for your next installment: http://literaryreference.tumblr.com/post/50677204942/why-do-men-keep-putting-me-in-the-girlfriend-zone
So many gems! Will make popcorn and read them, thanks for the share!
“Women don’t have sex drives, so you can’t possibly know how hard it is for me to not be waking up at 4 AM and killing deer with my bear hands in exchange for sexual favors. #biology”
This made me legit LOL. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. More please.
I’m with Laura–I laughed out loud at that statement. I think I’ll enjoy this series. I’m sure there are plenty of excellent comments for you to use!
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