not in Primary anymore

i will not be silenced




Through an onslaught of emotions, two seem to overpower the others: anger and grief.  I remember reading of events like the September 6 in Book of Mormon Girl from Joanna Brooks and I thought, “But that can’t possibly happen again.” When I read Sonia Johnson’s From Housewife to Heretic, I desperately tried to bury the feelings of deep disappointment I felt for the Mormon Church.

But today I feel crushed because it is happening againKate Kelly and John Dehlin, two amazing and inspiring leaders of the liberal Mormon communities, were given formal notices of disciplinary counsels for speaking out again the Mormon Church.

It appears the Mormon Church thinks it can meet with representatives of Mormon Women Stand and pre-tend that they are trying to resolve some of the injustices offered to women in their church communities.  The leaders of the church can pre-tend that the two dimensional woman Mormon Women Stand presents to them represents all Mormon women.   They can say they accept members “struggling with same-gender attraction” and then spend a fortune fighting against their human rights.  They want to believe that they are “fixing” the problems riddling the culture of the church and that those of us in the liberal Mormon communities are just “bad guys” giving them an overly negative reputation.  Then this church thinks it can excommunicate our leaders, the people who have taught us to not be ashamed of who we are and to stand up for ourselves, and we will go away as has happened in the past.  Well they are wrong.

We are not going away.  Not this time.

How can we stay?  We get the message, you don’t want us.  You want to continue on the easy path and ignore us.  Don’t you understand the damage you are doing?  Don’t you understand that we sit in church and hurt when we want to be able to sit and feel the love of Christ?  Don’t you care?

There are many who are so sick of the poor treatment they’ve received from the church that they will walk away.  There is, in fact, an event calling for mass resignation from the Mormon Church.  But I personally, and a lot of those who are so disappointed at this act taken by the church, still believe in so many parts of the church.  Why does it have to be all or none?  I don’t think it does so I will stay.   We are strong together.  You want to make martyrs of our leaders?  You think that will make us disappear?  Not this time.

In the words of Kate Kelly, “Onward.”

12 Responses to “i will not be silenced”

  1. corianne

    I don’t think the church realizes what a PR nightmare this can easily turn into. I’m heartsick over the treatment Kate and John are getting.

    • Dani

      Thankfully that is not what drives decisions in the church, unlike politics in our great country. I’m sorry to hear of their pain, but unfortunately not too surprised given some if the very caustic rhetoric on this blog. My sister was subject to church discipline and then later re-baptized a few years later. I am being very truthful when I say it turned out to be the best thing that happened to her. She had to turn to her Savior and the Holy Spirit for life’s direction rather than the philosophical views if men/women around her.

      • corianne

        Except when we hear more from the PR department then the prophet, when the PR department holds highly publicized meetings with women’s groups who toe the line, and when the church turns it’s back on its own history to be more like mainstream Protestantism, it’s kinda hard to believe that. I’m a self-professed cynic, and I hope it’s not true, but that’s what I see. It feels like the church is more concerned with the eyes of the world than the eyes of God.

  2. emmasrandomthoughts

    I’m not Mormon, but I can sense how much pain this decision has caused you. (And as an outsider, this does not make the LDS church look good. At all.)

    I don’t envy you, or any Mormon, having to decide whether or not to stay or to resign after this. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make.

  3. Morgan

    2 Nephi 28: 4-5

    This is what you sound like to me.

    I understand and completely agree with the concept of feeling inspired and asking the Brethren to ask God in behalf of the Church regarding a specific doctrine. In the end though we all need to be prepared to receive the answer He gives, even if it’s the answer we aren’t looking for. Elder Oaks was very clear, God answered, I’m sorry it’s not the answer you’re looking for, but posting this article is open rebellion against something very simply and directly addressed by the Brethren. “I will not be silenced even though God already answered me because I didn’t like the answer He gave.” That’s a VERY dangerous road to walk… And frankly, a childish one. I promise, God will work everything out exactly the way it is supposed to be, trust Him, trust His Prophet who was specially chosen out if the billions of people on the Earth to represent Him. God won’t allow His Prophet to lead us astray. Either the timing or the doctrine isn’t right, we just don’t know, all we do know is that Elder Oaks and many other Church leaders said no, I don’t know about you but I’m all for being on Team Monson.

    • nyla

      I wasn’t specifically talking about female ordination. There are a lot of Mormon feminists who don’t support women receiving the priesthood. The point is more that the church is excommunicating people who ask hard questions in a public way and I think that is wrong.

      But on that issue of Ordain Women, I am totally on Team Monson. Until he has said something or directed someone else to say something in his name, I don’t feel like an answer will have been given. That’s me personally though, you are free to seek your own answers.

  4. Robin

    It’s fine and welcomed to come to the church with doubts about it, or not believing everything, but when a person starts teaching things that are against the church, or leading people, then it causes confusion, and the media, who don’t know who is who start reporting what they think is church doctrine. If the church allowed this, it wouldn’t take long for the church to become muddy and meaningless. We could go to church and kick our shoes off because it doesn’t matter what we believe, and eventually, why would we go to church, why not start our own church. We could say, “we don’t need priesthood authority, Jesus gave authority to everyone and as long as we love others, we can do whatever.”

    Christ is the truth and the church is how he teaches the truth.

  5. Anonymous

    OK, it’s been 6 years. What have you learned?
    I hope some of you have begun to think.
    Rather than be blindly obedient to rules that have no basis in reality.
    OH, of course, lol, YMMV.


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