not in Primary anymore

misogyny reveal gone viral

TW: Post contains mention of abortion and infanticide.



Last month a video of a boy throwing a tantrum over the gender of his baby sister went viral. Many found the video cute or amusing. If you haven’t seen it, you can watch the video here.

I didn’t find the video funny at all, I was actually a bit disturbed. I don’t blame the boy for reacting the way he did, as it was clear the parents were hoping to get a good reaction out of him. The part I found disturbing was how many people were eager to celebrate this disgusting display of sexism.

We live in a world where millions of baby girls have been murdered because of their born sex– both by abortion during pregnancy, and in some instances after birth. In parts of the world where strong cultural preference is set for male children gender disparity is up to 130 males for every 100 females. It is estimated that there are over 100 million baby girls who are “missing” who should have been born.

The world that we live in is not a sociological vacuum. The same patriarchal culture that exists in countries where gendercide is rampant is present in the US. Misogyny is world wide. While this little boy’s tantrum is not as wrong as infanticide, it is apart of the same system. There is still a preference for male children everywhere in the world — 40 % of Americans would prefer having a boy over a girl.

In this video (which has now been preserved forever, and will likely be seen by their daughter at some point) the father makes his preference for a boy known. As his son wails in shock, his father responds “That was my reaction, too.”  The father continues comforting is son by saying “it’s okay” in a tone that makes it sound like a consolation prize. This baby, who is not yet born, is already being taught that she isn’t as good as her male counterparts. Before even entering this world the tone has been set in her home that it would have been better if she had been a boy.

Why is this so important?  There is no rule that says baby girls must wear pink or that they can’t play with trucks. There is no reason that this older brother won’t be able to bond with his new sister just as much as he would have with a brother (except for the misogyny he has already been taught.) I would like to note that “gender reveals” should really be called “sex reveals.” Read about the difference in sex and gender here.

This viral video is nothing more than a public display of sexism. There is no reason that finding out your sibling will be of the opposite sex should be upsetting. To celebrate this boys reaction to the news is a celebration of a patriarchal system that is damaging to everyone.

7 Responses to “misogyny reveal gone viral”

  1. doc

    You left out some notable details from the video that I think are important, espicaly when you judge a boy and his family of misogyny, but I can understand why you did it. Chances are many of the readers of this post won’t have to time click all the links. They may not watch the video and see that this little boy already has 2 sisters and seems to be hoping for a baby brother this time. Perhaps they won’t click the link on the gallop poll article and find out that it actually says 40% of Americans prefer a boy and 28% of Americans prefer a girl. You don’t seem to have a problem with the 28% who prefer a girl or that fact that 60% of Americans DO NOT PREFER A BOY. But those facts don’t support your narrative so I see why you would leave them out. I think you should retract this post, or at least the parts where you insult the boy and his family from the youtube video. I think what you have done here is unfair and dishonest. I know I am judging, but you already judged the boy and his family so I guess you are okay with judging. I don’t typically make comments, I just read to be informed, but I felt I needed to. I am sure that you feel passionately about the larger points you are trying to make but I don’t think you need to drag this boy and his family through the mud to make it.

    • Katherine

      Calling someone out for sexist behavior isn’t an insult- it’s commentary. If someone is participating in problematic behavior I have no problem calling them out for it, especially when they posted a public YouTube video that has been viewed by millions of people.

      • doc

        You certainly did provide commentary, and yes commentary can be insulting. In this case I thought your commentary in this post and about this family was dishonest, unfair, judgmental, and very presumptuous (that might be redundant). I don’t think the behavior in this video is problematic. I think your response to it is problematic. So i guess we will just have to agree to disagree.

  2. Teresa

    Whoa, whoa, whoa! Although I see your general point, I really think you’ve chosen the wrong video to base your article on. This is SIMPLY a little boy who wants a brother. Obviously he has sisters already, he wants to balance the scales a little! To say there’s no reason for this boy to get upset when he discovers it’ll be another girl, is just displaying a huge lack of empathy and understanding of children, especially one who has no limits placed on his displays of emotion. It was horrible for this video to be put on the internet, not because of its statement about society, but because of these parents allowing this boys atrocious behavior.

  3. Sweeney

    I found the initial reaction of the boy humorous; he was disappointed because he wanted a brother, which I could understand. The stupidity is that he just goes on and on and whines about how much he doesn’t like girls. This could have been a good teaching moment from the parents to let their son know that such a reaction isn’t acceptable. He put a real damper on an otherwise joyous occasion for the other kids who were excited. I find the way that most people indulge their kids to be atrocious. When I had spoiled moments like that as a kid, my mom or grandparents would take me aside and give me a proper scolding. Did I feel like my feeling weren’t validated? Sure, at the time. Did I learn that the world didn’t revolve around me? You bet. We live in a grossly indulgent society, and in this video, the combo of misogyny and misbehavior is overwhelming. Blech.

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