I’m almost old enough to be your grandma, and I had the same sort of experience as a daughter myself. Because of it, I often did not feel good enough. I don’t think Mom meant it that way. She loved me. She just didn’t love herself. You should be proud of yourself for fighting through it and knowing that you are smart and beautiful, and completely worthy. Thank you for sharing your pain and putting it right out there for others to identify with and learn from.
BTW, I LOVE this: “As embodied spirits we all deserve respect, no matter how our spirits are embodied.” That is very insightful. Best wishes and blessings to you, and for your relationship with your mom.