Last week the Mormon Newsroom published a news release regarding the LDS church’s support of Utah’s alcohol laws. It lists some impressive statistics as reasons to support the current alcohol laws, such as “Utah has the lowest number of alcohol-related traffic deaths per capita of all 50 states.” Thus Mormon Newsroom concludes that Utah’s alcohol laws are the reason why Utah has these favorable alcohol statistics. It doesn’t matter that over 60 percent of the Utah population identify as Mormon and Mormons tend to be sober. It’s the liquor laws we have to thank.
Utah’s liquor laws are our only hope to keep Utah from the hell known as ‘alcohol culture’. Can you imagine a restaurant that prepares alcoholic drinks in plain sight? Might as well turn that restaurant into a strip club. And Jesus wouldn’t be down with restaurant booze in plain sight either. When he turned water into wine, he probably did it in a back room where no one could see. He didn’t turn it into a spectacle.
Also, imagine seeing this at any Super Target or Smiths..
Do you feel the urge to binge drink too? How do the 12 million Mormons living outside of Utah keep the Word of Wisdom without Utah’s liquor laws to protect them from seeing wine in a grocery store?
A ‘pants-day’ critic who said that he opposes women in pants because of its political nature was asked his opinion on the recent church news release. He responded, “I love this news release! Sure, I’ve previously said that I don’t want politics in my church. I still don’t want politics at church. I want facts. And fact: without Utah’s alcohol laws, there’d be about a million more drunk drivers. Another fact: all women in the church are happy with gender roles. A woman that tells you otherwise is only trying to be political.”
So thank-you Mormon Newsroom for taking a supportive stand for Utah’s liquor laws. As Joseph Smith once meant to say, “I teach them correct principles and then pressure legislators to vote for my opinions.”