A summary*, by Hannah Wheelwright
Emma: WTF, Joseph? Why do I keep hearing about you marrying other women?
Joseph: I was commanded! Back in 1831, but I just didn’t tell ya!! You gotta trust me, Emma!
Emma: No way, José. Plus didn’t you put a statement in the 1835 edition of the D&C that marriage is monogamous?
Joseph: Mk, ya, I can see how that would be confusing to you. How ‘bout I write out the new-ish-kinda-not-really revelation for ya?
Emma: We’ve been married for 16 years and you think that’s going to help?!?
Joseph: IDK, man, she’s just not believing me!
Hyrum: Here’s what you gotta do. Write it out. I’ll go read it to her. Emma and I are tight like unto a dish. It’ll all be fine.
Joseph: Alrighty Hy, if you say so. *writes it down*
Hyrum: “…and I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment, she shall be destroyed….”
Emma: *takes paper out of Hyrum’s hand, walks over to the fireplace, sets the paper on fire*
Joseph: So how’d it go??
Hyrum: Umm… she burned it.
Joseph: Well, there’s no turning back now, buddy. Good thing I have it memorized! Guess I’ll just keep pluggin’ along. Maybe in like 33 years, probs around 1876 or something, they’ll include the new-ish-kinda-not-really revelation in the D&C. Who knows?! YOLO!
*small liberties have been taken to summarize the actual historical event. If you enjoyed this summary, you might also enjoy reading about how the Relief Society got its name.
For an actual detailed historical account of Joseph Smith and his practice of polygamy, read Todd Compton’s In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith.